A Little less judgement, a Little more Thanksgiving 2.0

So, I had one of those mornings today. You know the kind. I was running about 10 minutes late getting my son to school, a total scramble. After I finally got him dropped off, I was walking home, trying to get my head straight, and I saw this group of parents on the corner, maybe six of them, all huddled together and chatting. One of the women turned and waved, and I just naturally smiled and waved back. And then I realized... oh. She was waving to the guy walking behind me. My hand just sort of dropped. It was so awkward.

What really got me, though, was that I’ve actually tried with some of these moms. The one who was waving at ‘John’? I had her over for coffee last year. I’ve texted her just to see how she was doing because I knew she was starting a business and, wow, I know how hard that is. I even went out of my way to help when she texted me last summer out of the blue asking about my sitter. So yeah, it just stung a little.

As I walked past them, I swear, I was 16 again. Just for a second. It was that same feeling of being on the outside of the popular kids' circle, where you just know they’re making comments about everyone who walks by. It’s a feeling that just shrinks you right down to nothing.

Later that morning, I attended yoga class, which is allegedly my one hour of peace, you know? It’s a time to just breathe. But, of course, the woman in the class who was on the mat next to me had her phone face up the entire time. The ringer was off, but the screen kept lighting up as texts and messages came through, which was really distracting.

I was just so fed up. I mean, first the school snub, and now this. I was livid. I turned to her, ready to give her a piece of my mind, and before I could even get a word out, she looked right at me and said, “I’m so sorry, I have a sick child at home, and I needed to keep it on during class.” Well, that gave me a quick reality check. All that righteous indignation just. dissipated. And I felt like a complete idiot. In ten seconds, I realised that I had just done to her exactly what I was so mad at those parents for doing to me.

Like any self-aware parent, I always tell my kids not to jump to conclusions, and yet here I am, being a big fat hypocrite. What did I really know about that group of parents? Absolutely nothing. Maybe they were there to support a friend who’d just gotten some bad news. Maybe they were feeling as awkward as I was and had found solace in a small familiar group. Or maybe they were planning something nice for the teachers. My assumption about them being judgmental wasn’t a fact—it was just a story that I had concocted in my head. Who was I to judge them?

I realized to what extent I project my own doubts onto others, judging by what could be a mere skin-deep impression and creating a narrative about it that is hardly, barely, ever true to life. The thing is, the majority of people are just trying to find their own uncertainty, as I am.

I have worked so hard to teach my children to be open-minded and kind, and I guess that means I have to practice what I preach, you know? Today was a big learning day. It just reminds me of all the good things I actually have in my life. And it really brings back something my dad used to tell me when I was a kid, “When you point one finger at someone, remember there are three pointing back at you!” He was so right.

These past few years have been hard on all of us, I think. But in spite of all of that, there is still so much to be thankful for. And as the holiday season approaches, I am just trying to remind myself to do a little less judging and a little more. Thanksgiving.

It’s a work in progress, I guess.

Happy Holidays from the entire MommaBear Team.

P.S. We are currently out of stock, but stay tuned for product restock updates. As always Thank you for your support. It is one of the many things we are grateful for this season.

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